I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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