so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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