That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
