I need help removing her.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
