Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
