facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
