You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
