KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
