Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
