I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
