i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize