JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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