I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
