GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
