we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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