You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
