im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
North Korea, Best Korea!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
