Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
