CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
