You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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