"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
