Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
