When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
