I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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