My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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