Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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