I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
