I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
