trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
