She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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