We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
