Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
