you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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