I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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