walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
