I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
