I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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