So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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