you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
