I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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