so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
