I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just had sex on a roof
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
