if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize