so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
