i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
