I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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