Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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