how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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