maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
