Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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