First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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