his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
