well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
