bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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I'm like, not good at living.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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