woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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