1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
