guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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