At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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