Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
nutella sex= disaster
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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