Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize