either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
