I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
