There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
